Here it is 7:40 on a Tuesday morning in December and I am enjoying a cup of coffee, a delish muffin made by my daughter last night to give me a break from cooking breakfast this morning and a SILENT house. All of this made possible by a snow day! Yes, the forcast of 6-12 inches and 50 mph gusts by this afternoon have prompted the public schools to call off school for today. When the kids wake up, they are going to be so excited! Our district rarely cancels school so this is, indeed, a rare treat.
Right now the snow is coming down steadily. In Nebraska the weather most often happens horizontally. Due to an extreme and unfortunate lack of forestation in our fair state, the wind blows all the time. Rain and snow come down sideways. Not today, though. The snow is falling straight down; silently. This, coupled with the fact that it's just beginning to get light outside take me back to the day I left Sofia, Bulgaria with our son Christian. It was snowing hard that day, too.
It had already begun to snow when I awoke that morning and continued as a five-year-old Christian and I ate breakfast, washed up and packed our belongings into our luggage for our long journey home. I was exhausted and he was.....I don't know what he was. In a state of shock, maybe? Scared witless? Confused beyond belief? All of the above. When we were basically ready to go I turned on the little 12" television for him to watch cartoons and I sat at the little table in our flat and watched the snow out our 3rd floor window.
The snow always has a way of making everything seem so quiet and buffered and it had certainly done so with the noisy city of Sofia. There didn't appear to be any fewer people walking to work or whereever they were off to, but they seemed to be moving with the 'mute' button on. Our flat had a little balcony with a black iron railing and the snow had begun to pile up on it. As I sat there the stack of snow got higher and higher and higher. I began to wonder if our plane would leave and felt a little panicky. Christian and I had not had the smoothest of bonding times thus far and I was really anxious to get home and have the support of our family.
Thankfully, we were finally picked up and taken to the airport and our plane did actually leave Bulgaria. It was when we got to Warsaw, Poland to change planes that all the trouble began but that's an entirely different blog.
Days like this, where the snow falls silently but abundantly always take me back to my last day in Sofia with Christian. To be perfectly honest, it's not really a happy memory, nor an unhappy memory; just a very strong memory.
Which brings me to another strong memory. This I mentioned on Facebook last week. Was it last week? Perhaps the week before. I'm losing track. Anyway, I mentioned how I'd been at the Post Office and parked beside a diesel truck and when I got out the cold air and the smell of the diesel fuel immediately made me cry. I wanted to expand on that a little bit and I will try, although I'm not altogether positive I can explain it.
When we travelled to Russia, Rick and I flew through Frankfort, Germany in November. The airports in Europe are not always like ours here in the United States. In Germany (both in Frankfort and Munich), Vienna, Czech Republic, Poland and Russia they did not pull the aircraft up to a jetway and allow the passengers to walk in relative comfort and warmth into the terminal. In all of those places, a set of steps was brought up to the airplane door and we walked down onto the tarmac and then into the terminal. Rain, snow, dark of night; nothing kept us from our appointed trip across the tarmac. We were like the US Postal Service. (note: carrying a baby, an umbrella stroller and a backpack in the hard snow will get you waved up to the front of the line!)
Out on the tarmac there are all those little vehicles that pull open-sided wagons with luggage to and from the airplanes. They always remind me of toys and I've always thought my boys would enjoy that particular profession of driving them. There are fuel trucks that come and refuel the airplanes and the big trucks that bring the meals out to the planes. Most of these vehicles are diesel; especially in Europe. So the smell of diesel fuel coupled with COLD air always brings back strong memories of my adoption travels.
The strongest memory isn't even very well remembered. I just sort of remember that Rick and I were sitting in the Frankfort airport (in blue plastic seats and there weren't very many people in our area and it seemed that all of them were from other countries than either the U.S. or Germany and most of them were reading newspapers that were oddly small and of interesting colors like pink and green and blue) and it was dark outside. We were heading to Russia to pick up Ana and this was the only trip he took with me. While we were waiting, forever it seemed, we watched all these little diesel vehicles zipping around. Because it was so dark and we were inside looking through a wall of windows, I couldn't really see where they were going or what exactly they were doing but the smell of diesel was so strong it was almost overwhelming and it was COLD.
And then later in our trip, riding in the small Russian-made Lada car through the streets of Moscow. Rick's knees were up to his ears since he didn't fit too well in the car. Moscow was surely not designed to support the vast number of vehicles on the roadways now and they are a nightmare to say the least. The transport trucks (what we would call a semi, only they were smaller and shaped differently) and the military vehicles were just tall enough for their exhaust pipe to direct the noxious fumes directly into our car windows. Overwhelming diesel smell and COLD air.
And later on yet, after 27 hours on the Trans-Siberian Railway we arrived in Ekaterinburg. Instead of the train pulling up to a platform so we could disembark, it simply stopped. We got out with our luggage (which included two huge boxes of coats, hat, gloves, etc. for the orphanage and a joy to carry!) and walked across 4 more sets of tracks....in the dark....and the cold...with the overwhelming smell of diesel fuel.
So, I guess I'm not exactly sure what it is about the smell of diesel fuel in the cold air that makes me cry. Our trip wasn't bad at all. In fact, it was wonderful! Rick was with me ( I went to Bulgaria solo five times) and we brought home our beautiful daughter, Ana. But, I guess it was stressful. Rick had never travelled out of the country before and he was a little shell-shocked. The culture is vastly different from our own and of course, the language barrier is incredibly isolating. I think it's just all of it. All of those crazy strong emotions of excitement, fear, confusion, love, adventure, missing the kids at home, etc. all rolled up into the smell of diesel fuel in the cold air. It makes me cry every time.
Well, my little nirvana has ended. Kids are up, Rick is sitting on the couch beside me and talking on the phone (could he not find somewhere else to do this?) and the day has begun. Guess I'll go outside and shovel up some of that beautiful snow.
Tuesday, December 8, 2009
Thursday, November 19, 2009
NUDGE!!
A few Sundays ago in church, our pastor said that the most common thing he sees is the 'elbow nudge'. You know, when you hear something and you nudge your husband or wife or child sitting beside you because THEY really need to pay attention to what was just said? Of course, in reality, it was probably us who really needed to be listening instead of applying nuggets of truth to others. At least that's how it is for me.
Today I was listening to one of my favorite songs and singing REALLY loudly in the car. I sing loudly because what I lack in talent I make up in volume. I was thinking of my friend who is going through a particularly nasty divorce from a particularly nasty man. She is a beautiful and kind person who loves and accepts people and this song I was singing along with was making me think of her and how it could lift her spirits and help her to remember that no matter what has happened, we are loved by God.
Then as I sang one part of the song that I've sung a thousand and ten times before, it happened. NUDGE! "Apply those words to YOURSELF".
Oh. ok. So I did. Then the tears started. I needed to apply those words to myself. I have been feeling a bit off-kilter lately. There have been big changes in our world this year. Our oldest child got married. The next one is finishing up high school in December and will move into an apartment early next year. We bought a second business a year and a half ago. Maybe those don't seem daunting to anyone else, but they FEEL so to me.
When I was younger mom I felt so confident in my ability and decisions. I suppose that was because the kids were young and their problems were more controllable, maybe? They weren't quite to life-altering. Or at least I didn't think they were. Now with the older kids I don't know anything! I don't know how to advise them and when I do, I get all muddled up in "should I say how I'd do it or try to think of how it would be best for them to do it?". I feel like I don't do any of it well.
I have a new daughter-in-law. I don't know how to be a mother-in-law. I love her. No doubt about that. But I don't know her very well. After all, my son dated her, I didn't. I'm not exactly sure how to go about getting to know her or what she expects from our relationship. I was a very young bride and I lived in the town where my husband grew up where none of my family lived. I wonder if she feels the way I did? I have a great relationship with my son but I have pulled back so I don't step on toes. But...I still step on toes it seems.
My oldest daughter is leaving the nest soon. I am immensely proud of her and am fully behind her stretching her wings but I hate to see her go. She was my last baby. Everyone who came after her was not born to me. She's just a special girl and I like having her around. I know! Selfish. I can admit that.
Lately, I've been questioning all my choices and decisions. Should we have adopted four children? Did we short-change our first two? Did they get pushed to the side because the others required SO much more of...me? Do they regret it? Will they never want to have a big family because they hated living in one? Was I somehow being self-centered thinking I could save the world? Could my kids have gone to parents who had more time than I do? Could they have gotten parents who could have afforded more of the finer things in life? Did I short-change them too?
With all of my uncertainty swirling around in my heart I focused on the words to the Casting Crowns song:
Today I was listening to one of my favorite songs and singing REALLY loudly in the car. I sing loudly because what I lack in talent I make up in volume. I was thinking of my friend who is going through a particularly nasty divorce from a particularly nasty man. She is a beautiful and kind person who loves and accepts people and this song I was singing along with was making me think of her and how it could lift her spirits and help her to remember that no matter what has happened, we are loved by God.
Then as I sang one part of the song that I've sung a thousand and ten times before, it happened. NUDGE! "Apply those words to YOURSELF".
Oh. ok. So I did. Then the tears started. I needed to apply those words to myself. I have been feeling a bit off-kilter lately. There have been big changes in our world this year. Our oldest child got married. The next one is finishing up high school in December and will move into an apartment early next year. We bought a second business a year and a half ago. Maybe those don't seem daunting to anyone else, but they FEEL so to me.
When I was younger mom I felt so confident in my ability and decisions. I suppose that was because the kids were young and their problems were more controllable, maybe? They weren't quite to life-altering. Or at least I didn't think they were. Now with the older kids I don't know anything! I don't know how to advise them and when I do, I get all muddled up in "should I say how I'd do it or try to think of how it would be best for them to do it?". I feel like I don't do any of it well.
I have a new daughter-in-law. I don't know how to be a mother-in-law. I love her. No doubt about that. But I don't know her very well. After all, my son dated her, I didn't. I'm not exactly sure how to go about getting to know her or what she expects from our relationship. I was a very young bride and I lived in the town where my husband grew up where none of my family lived. I wonder if she feels the way I did? I have a great relationship with my son but I have pulled back so I don't step on toes. But...I still step on toes it seems.
My oldest daughter is leaving the nest soon. I am immensely proud of her and am fully behind her stretching her wings but I hate to see her go. She was my last baby. Everyone who came after her was not born to me. She's just a special girl and I like having her around. I know! Selfish. I can admit that.
Lately, I've been questioning all my choices and decisions. Should we have adopted four children? Did we short-change our first two? Did they get pushed to the side because the others required SO much more of...me? Do they regret it? Will they never want to have a big family because they hated living in one? Was I somehow being self-centered thinking I could save the world? Could my kids have gone to parents who had more time than I do? Could they have gotten parents who could have afforded more of the finer things in life? Did I short-change them too?
With all of my uncertainty swirling around in my heart I focused on the words to the Casting Crowns song:
'I know You've washed me white, turned my darkness into light
I need Your peace to get me through, to get me through this night
I can't live by what I feel, but by the truth Your word reveals
I'm not holding on to You, but You're holding on to me'
I'm not holding on to Him....He's holding on to ME. What security to know that when I am feeling so adrift, I'm not really adrift because He is holding on to me. Who knows if the decisions I've made have been the right ones. I made the best decisions I could at the time. Sure, I feel uncertain and like a big fat failure a lot, but I can't live by what I feel. I have to live by the truth.
And the truth is, I am loved. I need to live as if I am loved. My mistakes; I am trying to learn from them. My sins; they are cast as far as the East is from the West. I am shaped by them but not defined by them. I am forgiven and I am loved.
I needed that nudge today.
Monday, November 9, 2009
Blingy Blackberry Curve 8330 cell phone covers!!
I'm like a crow. If there is something shiney, I want it. To that end, I have bought several of these FAB blingy cell phone covers. Due to my extreme generocity, I am willing to part with them so that you, too, might broadcast just how fab you really are by chatting on a blinged out phone!
These covers are for the Blackberry Curve 8330 but if you want, I can get other cell models. The totally blingy ones are $25 +shipping to you and the silicone/bling ones are $15 +shipping to you!
Send me a comment or email me at jeel@neb.rr.com if you want to show off your blingy fabulocity ASAP!
Jeel
Sunday, November 8, 2009
The Reluctant HGTV Design Superstar!
It looks like I'm going to get my own show on HGTV! Isn't that exciting!? If you think David Bromstad was excited when he was told he would be the host of Color Splash, you ain't seen nothing yet.
Of course, my show is going to be a little different than most of the offerings on HGTV. All of the folks who were chosen to host their own shows love what they do. They are passionate about design and color and staging a home so it will sell more quickly. These celebs have actual training in their chosen field and were leaders in their classes.
Me, not so much. I'm not exactly passionate about painting. Honestly, I don't like to paint at all! I do like color and think if I had a warehouse of items to choose from, could surely stage a home to sell quickly. The fact that I don't really enjoy painting or knocking down walls is really going to be the draw of my new television show. The working title so far is 'The Reluctant Remodeler'. It describes me perfectly.
I see it working something like this: Viewers who need to sell their homes quickly will write in and describe their plight. I will choose a victim, I mean lucky recipient, of my handyman skills and then I will go to their home and help them remodel it so it will sell quickly....hopefully. These are going to have to be desperate folks, for sure.
Since I don't really enjoy home improvement projects, I will try to find the most short cuts possible. You know, you can save a lot of time painting over a wallpaper border rather than removing it and then painting. As long as you sell the house quickly, this should never be a problem. Well, it won't be your problem, at least.
Details aren't so much my strong suit either. I am really more concerned with finishing. Sure, quality is important, but if you don't have a lot of patience, time is really of the essence. Maybe removing all the cabinet doors and hardware before carefully sanding and painting is the best way. However, simply taping over the handles and draping drop cloths on the countertops and floors before you use an airless sprayer to coat the entire kitchen is surely the quickest. You can complete an entire kitchen in less than an hour!
Need to paint a room a more neutral color to make it more appealing to prospective buyers? Again, I recommend the airless sprayer. It's a most magical machine. If the room isn't very big you can employ the 360 method. Stand in the center of the room and slowly turn in a circle to coat the entire room. Do remember to wear a mask for this trick!
As you can see, I'll be able to accomplish quite a bit of remodeling each episode, and at a low cost to boot. I imagine I'll have quite a long and satisfying career as the Reluctant Remodeler. Do be sure to tune in...you won't be sorry!
(disclaimer: this blog entry is fiction. While parts are true; ie: I hate to paint, I would never paint a small room with an airless sprayer. I always use spraypaint in a can. always.)
Of course, my show is going to be a little different than most of the offerings on HGTV. All of the folks who were chosen to host their own shows love what they do. They are passionate about design and color and staging a home so it will sell more quickly. These celebs have actual training in their chosen field and were leaders in their classes.
Me, not so much. I'm not exactly passionate about painting. Honestly, I don't like to paint at all! I do like color and think if I had a warehouse of items to choose from, could surely stage a home to sell quickly. The fact that I don't really enjoy painting or knocking down walls is really going to be the draw of my new television show. The working title so far is 'The Reluctant Remodeler'. It describes me perfectly.
I see it working something like this: Viewers who need to sell their homes quickly will write in and describe their plight. I will choose a victim, I mean lucky recipient, of my handyman skills and then I will go to their home and help them remodel it so it will sell quickly....hopefully. These are going to have to be desperate folks, for sure.
Since I don't really enjoy home improvement projects, I will try to find the most short cuts possible. You know, you can save a lot of time painting over a wallpaper border rather than removing it and then painting. As long as you sell the house quickly, this should never be a problem. Well, it won't be your problem, at least.
Details aren't so much my strong suit either. I am really more concerned with finishing. Sure, quality is important, but if you don't have a lot of patience, time is really of the essence. Maybe removing all the cabinet doors and hardware before carefully sanding and painting is the best way. However, simply taping over the handles and draping drop cloths on the countertops and floors before you use an airless sprayer to coat the entire kitchen is surely the quickest. You can complete an entire kitchen in less than an hour!
Need to paint a room a more neutral color to make it more appealing to prospective buyers? Again, I recommend the airless sprayer. It's a most magical machine. If the room isn't very big you can employ the 360 method. Stand in the center of the room and slowly turn in a circle to coat the entire room. Do remember to wear a mask for this trick!
As you can see, I'll be able to accomplish quite a bit of remodeling each episode, and at a low cost to boot. I imagine I'll have quite a long and satisfying career as the Reluctant Remodeler. Do be sure to tune in...you won't be sorry!
(disclaimer: this blog entry is fiction. While parts are true; ie: I hate to paint, I would never paint a small room with an airless sprayer. I always use spraypaint in a can. always.)
Friday, November 6, 2009
Shredding the Mountain
No, I'm not snowboarding, I'm actually shredding the mountain of business paperwork that I've been saving.
We started scanning in our documents this year but I've been too afraid to actually shred them just in case there was something I still needed! Sure, maybe I have trust issues, so what? The person I don't trust is ME. I'm not at all confident that I've scanned in everything I will need proof of someday if I ever get audited by the IRS. Sure, I set up a system whereby I only put scanned documents into the box labled 'To Be Scanned'. Sure, I've double and triple checked to see if various documents from various months are really on my computer. But I am still scared to shred.
Since we are putting our house on the market soon, I must get my office in order. Nobody is going to see the excellence of my bonus space if it is overtaken by unscanned documents, now are they? And so today, knees knocking and heart palpitating, I sat down and started shredding. I didn't even look at the papers; I just fed them into the shredder.
So far I have four full bags and I'm not even half through the box. I'm taking a break now because I've overheated the shredder...for the second time.
Now that I'm feeling so bold, I might even get ride of some of those purses I've been hanging on to 'just in case' I might need it again. On second thought, nah.
We started scanning in our documents this year but I've been too afraid to actually shred them just in case there was something I still needed! Sure, maybe I have trust issues, so what? The person I don't trust is ME. I'm not at all confident that I've scanned in everything I will need proof of someday if I ever get audited by the IRS. Sure, I set up a system whereby I only put scanned documents into the box labled 'To Be Scanned'. Sure, I've double and triple checked to see if various documents from various months are really on my computer. But I am still scared to shred.
Since we are putting our house on the market soon, I must get my office in order. Nobody is going to see the excellence of my bonus space if it is overtaken by unscanned documents, now are they? And so today, knees knocking and heart palpitating, I sat down and started shredding. I didn't even look at the papers; I just fed them into the shredder.
So far I have four full bags and I'm not even half through the box. I'm taking a break now because I've overheated the shredder...for the second time.
Now that I'm feeling so bold, I might even get ride of some of those purses I've been hanging on to 'just in case' I might need it again. On second thought, nah.
Thursday, November 5, 2009
Bravo for Housewives!
It started out so innocently. I watched a few episodes of The Real Life Housewives of Orange County because I just couldn't look away once I'd glimpsed it. After a few episodes, I was hooked. I liked all the Housewives, even if I thought their drama was silly and their lives were over the top. As the seasons progressed and the cast evolved, I just kept on watching.
You know how it goes, once you start one thing, you find yourself branching out into other facets of the same behavior. Like when you over eat at a holiday party and then pretty soon you are sitting on the couch every night with a bowl of ice cream. Well, maybe it's not exactly like that. Anyway, I watched the Housewives of New York ( LOVE Jill Zarin and Bethenny Frankel! I'm totally sure they'd want to be my friend if only they could just meet me!). To me, the NYC Housewives seem more down to earth and less materialistic. I suppose they are still wealthy and have whatever they decide they want, but it just didn't seem to have the same sense of entitlement that the OC Housewives have.
From NYC I evolved to New Jersey but didn't have as much time to watch. I didn't feel as drawn in by them, though I really love Caroline Manzo and her great mix of fun and 'mess with me and I"ll rip your heart out'. I want to be her friend too.
When the Atlanta Housewives appeared I had to watch. How could I not?! With all the wig snatching and being tardy for the party, this group of housewives was CRAZY! Nene (my personal fave) is bigger than life and her one liners are killer...boo!
Which leads me to (drum roll please) the season premiere of The Real Life Housewives of Orange County! I cannot wait! My kids will be in bed and I can settle down and enjoy my guilty pleasure.
Bravo!! Bring on the Housewives!
You know how it goes, once you start one thing, you find yourself branching out into other facets of the same behavior. Like when you over eat at a holiday party and then pretty soon you are sitting on the couch every night with a bowl of ice cream. Well, maybe it's not exactly like that. Anyway, I watched the Housewives of New York ( LOVE Jill Zarin and Bethenny Frankel! I'm totally sure they'd want to be my friend if only they could just meet me!). To me, the NYC Housewives seem more down to earth and less materialistic. I suppose they are still wealthy and have whatever they decide they want, but it just didn't seem to have the same sense of entitlement that the OC Housewives have.
From NYC I evolved to New Jersey but didn't have as much time to watch. I didn't feel as drawn in by them, though I really love Caroline Manzo and her great mix of fun and 'mess with me and I"ll rip your heart out'. I want to be her friend too.
When the Atlanta Housewives appeared I had to watch. How could I not?! With all the wig snatching and being tardy for the party, this group of housewives was CRAZY! Nene (my personal fave) is bigger than life and her one liners are killer...boo!
Which leads me to (drum roll please) the season premiere of The Real Life Housewives of Orange County! I cannot wait! My kids will be in bed and I can settle down and enjoy my guilty pleasure.
Bravo!! Bring on the Housewives!
What Are YOU? A BABY?
Today while listening to my Sirius Satellite Radio (oh, how I l-o-v-e love it!) I happened to hear this commedian, Ross Bennett. He was talking about his father who was in the Marines and I have a friend who's son just finished the crucible and will now be an official Marine (Ooh Rah!) and this really made me laugh. I hope it makes you laugh too.
The only difference in this and the one I heard was the last line he said on the radio was, "What are you, a baby?" You'll get it when you hear it.
The part about his dad is at the end but the rest is pretty funny as well.
enjoy!
Jill
The only difference in this and the one I heard was the last line he said on the radio was, "What are you, a baby?" You'll get it when you hear it.
The part about his dad is at the end but the rest is pretty funny as well.
enjoy!
Jill
Movin', Movin', Movin'....Keep that Van a Movin'
This blog goes out to the mom in the silver mini-van in front of me while dropping off kids at the middle school today. Hello!! You do not live on the Earth alone! There are others here as well!
My 7th grade trumpeteer had to be at an early-morning practice, so I scooted to the middle school early to drop her off. Since she wears a prosthetic leg and/or uses arm crutches, I sometimes drop her off in the 'handicapped lane' where there is less traffic and she has more time to exit the vehicle, get her trumpet out of the back of the car, etc. Today, since it was just for this practice and traffic was light, I drove through the normal drop-off lane. Or at least I attempted to. I pulled up behind Mrs. Silver Minivan who was parked smack dab in front of the door.
I wrongly assumed she was stopped to allow her band-geek to exit her van, enter the building and then drive AWAY like every other parent in the known universe does. But no. Silly me. She was apparently claiming that spot right in front of the doors as her homestead. I had to let Sofie out farther from the door than I would've liked because of this pioneer woman in her silver minivan. Normally, our 8th grader,Christian, would carry Sofie's trumpet into the school for her when she has her arm crutches but since we were dropping her off early and solo, she was on her own to wrangle her bookbag, extra large band folder that does not fit in any normal sized book bag and the trumpet in it's case that weights roughly the same as she does, while using her crutches for an extra 400 feet.
While Sofie is trying to get out of the car and not drop her stuff, the child in the silver minivan is still sitting in the passenger seat. I just can't understand it. If you are going to allow your kid to sit in the car for 10 extra minutes in the drop off lane, DON'T PARK DIRECTLY IN FRONT OF THE DOORS! At the very least she could've pulled way up so others could drop off closer to the door. If I'd had on anything better than a bright orange T-shirt and hot pink jamie pants with flaminco dancers on them, I would've gotten out and given that woman a piece of my mind!
Just as Sofie was almost to the door, the silver minivan girl got out of her van, walked quickly to the door, entered and let the door shut in Sofie's face. Like mother, like daughter. For some unknown reason, Mrs. Silver Minivan continued to sit there in her parking spot. I and several other cars and to drive out of line around her. Hello! Yooo Hoo! Anybody home????
It just makes me absolutely crazy! So many people go through life not giving a hoot how their actions are affecting anyone else. Worse yet, these people reproduce!! There should be a law. Honestly, don't you think? After all the paperwork and background checks I had to endure to adopt children and these selfish crackpots willy nilly reproduce like rabbits. I don't get it.
Maybe since parents are teaching this at home, the school system should design a class entitled "Being Aware of How You Affect Others". We might have to divert some funds from some other area, like say maybe football? (GASP!) But wouldn't it be worth it? I think so.
So, Mrs. Silver Minivan, the next time I get behind you in the drive up lane and you are parked and reading Moby Dick or whatever it is you do there, I am not going to hesitate to get out of my vehicle and knock on your window and tell you to MOVE IT!
I'd better start wearing shoes when I drive the kids to school, just in case.
My 7th grade trumpeteer had to be at an early-morning practice, so I scooted to the middle school early to drop her off. Since she wears a prosthetic leg and/or uses arm crutches, I sometimes drop her off in the 'handicapped lane' where there is less traffic and she has more time to exit the vehicle, get her trumpet out of the back of the car, etc. Today, since it was just for this practice and traffic was light, I drove through the normal drop-off lane. Or at least I attempted to. I pulled up behind Mrs. Silver Minivan who was parked smack dab in front of the door.
I wrongly assumed she was stopped to allow her band-geek to exit her van, enter the building and then drive AWAY like every other parent in the known universe does. But no. Silly me. She was apparently claiming that spot right in front of the doors as her homestead. I had to let Sofie out farther from the door than I would've liked because of this pioneer woman in her silver minivan. Normally, our 8th grader,Christian, would carry Sofie's trumpet into the school for her when she has her arm crutches but since we were dropping her off early and solo, she was on her own to wrangle her bookbag, extra large band folder that does not fit in any normal sized book bag and the trumpet in it's case that weights roughly the same as she does, while using her crutches for an extra 400 feet.
While Sofie is trying to get out of the car and not drop her stuff, the child in the silver minivan is still sitting in the passenger seat. I just can't understand it. If you are going to allow your kid to sit in the car for 10 extra minutes in the drop off lane, DON'T PARK DIRECTLY IN FRONT OF THE DOORS! At the very least she could've pulled way up so others could drop off closer to the door. If I'd had on anything better than a bright orange T-shirt and hot pink jamie pants with flaminco dancers on them, I would've gotten out and given that woman a piece of my mind!
Just as Sofie was almost to the door, the silver minivan girl got out of her van, walked quickly to the door, entered and let the door shut in Sofie's face. Like mother, like daughter. For some unknown reason, Mrs. Silver Minivan continued to sit there in her parking spot. I and several other cars and to drive out of line around her. Hello! Yooo Hoo! Anybody home????
It just makes me absolutely crazy! So many people go through life not giving a hoot how their actions are affecting anyone else. Worse yet, these people reproduce!! There should be a law. Honestly, don't you think? After all the paperwork and background checks I had to endure to adopt children and these selfish crackpots willy nilly reproduce like rabbits. I don't get it.
Maybe since parents are teaching this at home, the school system should design a class entitled "Being Aware of How You Affect Others". We might have to divert some funds from some other area, like say maybe football? (GASP!) But wouldn't it be worth it? I think so.
So, Mrs. Silver Minivan, the next time I get behind you in the drive up lane and you are parked and reading Moby Dick or whatever it is you do there, I am not going to hesitate to get out of my vehicle and knock on your window and tell you to MOVE IT!
I'd better start wearing shoes when I drive the kids to school, just in case.
Wednesday, November 4, 2009
Unanswered Prayers
My day started earlier than usual as the hubby had to get off to Omaha for continuing education for his Master Pumper license. I got him packed to spend the night there and out the door while making breakfast and herding kids around. Chase and I left the house early to attend the Muffins with Moms at his elementary school library. I had a little lemon poppyseed muffin and he chose a chocolate chip muffin that was technically larger than his head. He ate almost all of it! This after a bowl of oatmeal at home. Hmm..and I thought Sofie was our kid with the hollow leg. har har.
After enjoying muffins on short chairs with my favorite fourth grader, I headed over to my in-law's house. My MIL (Karen) had to work this morning so I was going to stay with my FIL (Ed). Since his stroke last week, he still shouldn't be left alone. His vision isn't quite back to normal in his right eye and his right side of the body is still weak/numb.
As soon as I arrived, he was ready to GO! This is a man who goes out for coffee EVERY morning with his friends. We got in the car and headed for coffee. He was greeted by everyone in the place and it lifted his spirits to be out and about. He and I sat and visited for about an hour. He and I typically have a good time joshing eachother and he loves to take the boys to do whatever he is doing. He is the 'handy' type of guy. He can fix anything...ANYthing. He used to let our oldest son take apart microwaves and telephones and anything else he could get his hands on, just to see how it was put together. He lets the boys mow and feed the fish in his pond and they go out for ice cream and whoppers.
After we'd enjoyed coffee and chatting we headed back to the house where he napped in his recliner in the sun porch until my dad came over for a visit. They sat out on the sun porch and I sat inside on the couch in the silent house where there was no laundry, cleaning, bookwork, computer or tasks that need to be completed. It was wonderful! I read through all my magazines and catalogs and even perused a couple of Karen's cookbooks.
As a high school senior, McKenzie, has open lunch so she came and had a bite to eat and say 'hi' to Grandpa. A litttle after noon, Karen returned and I was off to the grocery store and back to the busy reality of life.
I am so thankful that I don't work outside the home. I'm blessed that I have the time to go over and be with Ed. For all the times I prayed to live somewhere, anywhere, other than Nebraska, I can't imagine not being here now. Thank God for unanswered prayers.
After enjoying muffins on short chairs with my favorite fourth grader, I headed over to my in-law's house. My MIL (Karen) had to work this morning so I was going to stay with my FIL (Ed). Since his stroke last week, he still shouldn't be left alone. His vision isn't quite back to normal in his right eye and his right side of the body is still weak/numb.
As soon as I arrived, he was ready to GO! This is a man who goes out for coffee EVERY morning with his friends. We got in the car and headed for coffee. He was greeted by everyone in the place and it lifted his spirits to be out and about. He and I sat and visited for about an hour. He and I typically have a good time joshing eachother and he loves to take the boys to do whatever he is doing. He is the 'handy' type of guy. He can fix anything...ANYthing. He used to let our oldest son take apart microwaves and telephones and anything else he could get his hands on, just to see how it was put together. He lets the boys mow and feed the fish in his pond and they go out for ice cream and whoppers.
After we'd enjoyed coffee and chatting we headed back to the house where he napped in his recliner in the sun porch until my dad came over for a visit. They sat out on the sun porch and I sat inside on the couch in the silent house where there was no laundry, cleaning, bookwork, computer or tasks that need to be completed. It was wonderful! I read through all my magazines and catalogs and even perused a couple of Karen's cookbooks.
As a high school senior, McKenzie, has open lunch so she came and had a bite to eat and say 'hi' to Grandpa. A litttle after noon, Karen returned and I was off to the grocery store and back to the busy reality of life.
I am so thankful that I don't work outside the home. I'm blessed that I have the time to go over and be with Ed. For all the times I prayed to live somewhere, anywhere, other than Nebraska, I can't imagine not being here now. Thank God for unanswered prayers.
Tuesday, November 3, 2009
If I were a millionaire
The morning drive to school has always provided a little pocket of time to chat where I have learned the most interesting things. Take for instance the day Sofie confided that when she grew up she wanted to have an RV with a disco ball. Ok, that is slightly disturbing, but still. I've learned some good stuff over the years.
Today it was Sofie who posed the question. She asked me where I would live if I were a millionaire. This used to be a no-brainer for me. I could think of a hundred places I'd love to live! South Carolina, Oregon, Arizona, East Texas, Italy, Bulgaria....I love adventure and new anything so I'd pick someplace interesting and head out. But today I couldn't say any of those places. In the oddest twist of fate, I had to admit I would live here in Columbus. After 20+ years of complaining and whining and harping about how I did NOT want to live here, now I don't want to leave. I can hardly believe it myself.
I don't want to live anywhere else now because my grown kids live here. In the next few years they will be starting a family and I don't want to be 4,000 miles away from my grandbabies! I didn't have the opportunity to grow up around my grandparents and I don't want that for my grandkids. (Not sure how my kids feel about this...perhaps I should ask! I might not be the best role model but I have promised NEVER to buy the loud and annoying toys.) Listen to me; talking about grandkids I don't even have! But, you see what I'm saying, right?
I did add that if I were a millionaire, I'd have a vacation home somewhere fabulous where we could all go and relax and make wonderful memories. Surely, a millionaire could afford that, right? I'm not exactly positive since numbers are really not my thing. I love words. Numbers....not so much. Perhaps if I were just a millionaire, we'd only be able to vacation in Kansas City. I don't know. I just know that I'd like to have some options for escape now and then. And I'd take those grandbabies with me for all sorts of fun adventures!
Today it was Sofie who posed the question. She asked me where I would live if I were a millionaire. This used to be a no-brainer for me. I could think of a hundred places I'd love to live! South Carolina, Oregon, Arizona, East Texas, Italy, Bulgaria....I love adventure and new anything so I'd pick someplace interesting and head out. But today I couldn't say any of those places. In the oddest twist of fate, I had to admit I would live here in Columbus. After 20+ years of complaining and whining and harping about how I did NOT want to live here, now I don't want to leave. I can hardly believe it myself.
I don't want to live anywhere else now because my grown kids live here. In the next few years they will be starting a family and I don't want to be 4,000 miles away from my grandbabies! I didn't have the opportunity to grow up around my grandparents and I don't want that for my grandkids. (Not sure how my kids feel about this...perhaps I should ask! I might not be the best role model but I have promised NEVER to buy the loud and annoying toys.) Listen to me; talking about grandkids I don't even have! But, you see what I'm saying, right?
I did add that if I were a millionaire, I'd have a vacation home somewhere fabulous where we could all go and relax and make wonderful memories. Surely, a millionaire could afford that, right? I'm not exactly positive since numbers are really not my thing. I love words. Numbers....not so much. Perhaps if I were just a millionaire, we'd only be able to vacation in Kansas City. I don't know. I just know that I'd like to have some options for escape now and then. And I'd take those grandbabies with me for all sorts of fun adventures!
Monday, November 2, 2009
I Find Myself Amusing
I realize it's a sad state of affairs when you laugh at your own jokes, but honestly, sometimes I read my old columns and I laugh. I forget so much stuff that I'm thrilled I have stacks of newspapers containing my old columns and even some on my website http://www.jilljackstate.com/ . I love being able to go back and read what I wrote about the kids when they were smaller and to remember what they were like in those days. What fun!
Some of you might wonder why I would choose to blog on this site if I already have such a personalized webpage. The answer is so simple: I don't like how difficult the "EASY site builder" is to use and I don't know how to FTP anything other than my financial information to our accountant (and they gave me step by step instructions that I have to have handy each time I do it). I'd prefer to have all my 'stuff' more integrated but I don't know how to do it and trying to reasearch how to accomplish such a feat seems, well, too hard.
Let's be honest, people. I am the person who throws away paint rollers rather than washing them out because it's too much of a hassle. I'm all about easy-peasy.
I guess I'll keep blogging since that seems much easier. I love the feedback and welcome your comments and thoughts!! Feel free to pass my blog along to your friends and heck, even your enemies. Who knows, maybe some IT person will accidentally read it and have some easy kindergarten-level advice for how to merge my 'junk'.
Until then, I'm going to go read some of my old columns and amuse myself.
Some of you might wonder why I would choose to blog on this site if I already have such a personalized webpage. The answer is so simple: I don't like how difficult the "EASY site builder" is to use and I don't know how to FTP anything other than my financial information to our accountant (and they gave me step by step instructions that I have to have handy each time I do it). I'd prefer to have all my 'stuff' more integrated but I don't know how to do it and trying to reasearch how to accomplish such a feat seems, well, too hard.
Let's be honest, people. I am the person who throws away paint rollers rather than washing them out because it's too much of a hassle. I'm all about easy-peasy.
I guess I'll keep blogging since that seems much easier. I love the feedback and welcome your comments and thoughts!! Feel free to pass my blog along to your friends and heck, even your enemies. Who knows, maybe some IT person will accidentally read it and have some easy kindergarten-level advice for how to merge my 'junk'.
Until then, I'm going to go read some of my old columns and amuse myself.
Sunday, November 1, 2009
I'm Walking, Yes Indeed and I"m...Adjusting My Attitude?
Oh, I have got to go for a walk. Well, perhaps just a shuffle will be all I can manage after the amazingly mammoth meal I just consumed. Our church just celebrated our 10 year anniversary at our annual 'Joyfest' which is basically a Thanksgiving type deal. It's always a fun time with great food and fun entertainment but man, oh, man, oh man have I ever eaten toooo much!
But, what's new, right? Ever since the wedding, when I no longer had to be the MOG (Mother of the Groom) I have been grazing along like a bovine. I'm busy enough during the day that I don't eat much but at the end of the day, when the kids are in bed and I can finally sit down, I eat. I like to justify this little practice by telling myself that I'm doing something I like to do...something for ME finally in the day. Yes, isnt' that so nice? I'm rewarding all my hard work during the day with a hiney that needs it's own zip code. What kind of twisted thinking is that???
Heck, just add it to the unending list of my twisted thinking. I spent the last week being a smidge vile. I was feeling vastly unappreciated for the myriad of things I do on a daily basis. I had been sick for a couple of weeks and despite the fact that I took care of everyone else while they were sick and made sure that they had Gatorade and soup and fluffed up pillows, nobody did any of that for me. I still had to drag myself out of bed to take everyone where they needed to be and to make meals (that nobody appreciates!). (Can you hear the violins playing???) So, I mentally crossed my arms and stomped my feet and added up all the times I've done some thankless task that everyone expects and nobody notices and pouted for a week. A WHOLE WEEK! Do you really think I'd let one of my kids POUT for a week? Short answer: no. But in my infintite twisted thinking, I justified my hurt feelings and nursed my pitiful attitude for a whole week. Since even I can't stand myself acting like that for too long, I had to just get it off my chest and then let it go!
Cut to this morning's sermon that was entitled "It Was Time for an Attitude Adjustment". I turned to my friend Liz with a look of incredulity and said, "Seriously!" She snickered and suggest that perhaps I shouldn't have created a Facebook page for our pastor. Now he can tailor the sermons to my bad behavior!
As it turned out, I did need an attitude adjustment. I needed to be reminded that, as a Christian, I am an example of Christ to others. I'm pretty sure nobody was thinking, "Wow! I sure would like to be more like Jill Tate!" this past week. I didn't even want to!
So, I'm adjusting my attitude. And I'm going for a walk. And tomorrow I am going to make it a point to tell others in my life that I appreciate them for all that they do for me.
But, what's new, right? Ever since the wedding, when I no longer had to be the MOG (Mother of the Groom) I have been grazing along like a bovine. I'm busy enough during the day that I don't eat much but at the end of the day, when the kids are in bed and I can finally sit down, I eat. I like to justify this little practice by telling myself that I'm doing something I like to do...something for ME finally in the day. Yes, isnt' that so nice? I'm rewarding all my hard work during the day with a hiney that needs it's own zip code. What kind of twisted thinking is that???
Heck, just add it to the unending list of my twisted thinking. I spent the last week being a smidge vile. I was feeling vastly unappreciated for the myriad of things I do on a daily basis. I had been sick for a couple of weeks and despite the fact that I took care of everyone else while they were sick and made sure that they had Gatorade and soup and fluffed up pillows, nobody did any of that for me. I still had to drag myself out of bed to take everyone where they needed to be and to make meals (that nobody appreciates!). (Can you hear the violins playing???) So, I mentally crossed my arms and stomped my feet and added up all the times I've done some thankless task that everyone expects and nobody notices and pouted for a week. A WHOLE WEEK! Do you really think I'd let one of my kids POUT for a week? Short answer: no. But in my infintite twisted thinking, I justified my hurt feelings and nursed my pitiful attitude for a whole week. Since even I can't stand myself acting like that for too long, I had to just get it off my chest and then let it go!
Cut to this morning's sermon that was entitled "It Was Time for an Attitude Adjustment". I turned to my friend Liz with a look of incredulity and said, "Seriously!" She snickered and suggest that perhaps I shouldn't have created a Facebook page for our pastor. Now he can tailor the sermons to my bad behavior!
As it turned out, I did need an attitude adjustment. I needed to be reminded that, as a Christian, I am an example of Christ to others. I'm pretty sure nobody was thinking, "Wow! I sure would like to be more like Jill Tate!" this past week. I didn't even want to!
So, I'm adjusting my attitude. And I'm going for a walk. And tomorrow I am going to make it a point to tell others in my life that I appreciate them for all that they do for me.
Saturday, October 31, 2009
Ha Ha Halloween
Tonight was a first for me. My kids went trick-or-treating without either my husband or me! I gotta admit, it felt a little odd. For MANY years, I was the only parent who took the kids trick-or-treating. The hubby was almost always working, so the task fell to me. I spent years hearding multiple children along sidewalks and carrying the candy bucket for our daughter who uses arm crutches. After a few houses, she'd just skip the ones with lots of porch steps. Then just about 4-5 years ago, as life transitioned, I was able to get a break and stay home and hand out the candy and my husband would take the kids. I was SO thankful when he'd take them on those FREEEEZING Halloweens. They'd return home with hands frozen around the bucket handle with my husband carrying the one whose hands were sore from using her crutches.
But tonight, I only had one trick-or-treater (a skeleton) and his older brother along with the neighbor boy who is his age took our skeleton, the little neighbor girl and a family friend of ours. I got to stay home and visit with my friend while one of my daughters handed out candy until her ride to a slumber party showed up to whisk her away. Then my friend and I got to sit outside on such a beautiful night and enjoy all those little Spidermen, Brides of Frankenstein and princesses. I gave out 10 bags of candy and ran out before the kids did!
BUT...and you knew there had to be a but, didn't you? What has happened to basic manners? Not even half of the kids tonight said 'thank you'. Most didn't even bother to say 'trick-or-treat'! What's with that??
There were a couple of funny spots in the night, though. At one point, two boys who were at least 14 and not wearing costumes, walked up. The first one immediately said a catchy rhyme and 'earned' a treat. I have a policy that I do NOT give candy to teens who are not wearing costumes but are carrying pillow cases. Now the second boy was slightly chunkier than the first and he apparently expected to ride on the rhyming coat tails of his pal. No go! He gestured that I should just shovel in some candy and I said he should do a treat. We went back and forth a few times. I suggested he could at the very least tell a joke. At this point, I had to stop the first boy from jumping in to tell a joke and rescue his friend! Finally, the chunky boy told a joke and I gave him candy. Liz and I thought perhaps we should've made him do jumping jacks or push ups to earn the treat.
There were LOTS of adults who carried their own bags and expected candy, one person who asked for candy for 'a sick kid at home' and get this: one boy took his candy without saying thanks and then said, "Can I have one for my grandma?" It took me by surprise! His GRANDMA? That was a new one! I said, "Your grandma?" and he said, "Yes." Heck, I gave him another candy bar for even having the guts to ask for extra candy for his grandma with a straight face.
When all the candy was gone, we ate Mexican food and enjoyed good company. It almost seemed too easy! Well, for me at least. Hubby got called out since the employee who is actually on call tonight was taking his little guy trick-or-treating. I hated to see him go, but I'm thankful for business and I know how hard it is to be the only parent to take the kids out on Halloween, so I didn't want to have to call our employee in.
OH ,and my 16 year old daughter went to a party dressed as Heidi Klum....who is pregnant! It was a hoot! Her dad didn't think it was so funny but I reminded him that when she dressed up as a witch or a doctor when she was younger did not destine her to become either of those things. I did make her remove her belly when she drove!! (Oh, if only I could've done that when actually pregnant!)
All in all, a lovely and relaxing Halloween evening.
But tonight, I only had one trick-or-treater (a skeleton) and his older brother along with the neighbor boy who is his age took our skeleton, the little neighbor girl and a family friend of ours. I got to stay home and visit with my friend while one of my daughters handed out candy until her ride to a slumber party showed up to whisk her away. Then my friend and I got to sit outside on such a beautiful night and enjoy all those little Spidermen, Brides of Frankenstein and princesses. I gave out 10 bags of candy and ran out before the kids did!
BUT...and you knew there had to be a but, didn't you? What has happened to basic manners? Not even half of the kids tonight said 'thank you'. Most didn't even bother to say 'trick-or-treat'! What's with that??
There were a couple of funny spots in the night, though. At one point, two boys who were at least 14 and not wearing costumes, walked up. The first one immediately said a catchy rhyme and 'earned' a treat. I have a policy that I do NOT give candy to teens who are not wearing costumes but are carrying pillow cases. Now the second boy was slightly chunkier than the first and he apparently expected to ride on the rhyming coat tails of his pal. No go! He gestured that I should just shovel in some candy and I said he should do a treat. We went back and forth a few times. I suggested he could at the very least tell a joke. At this point, I had to stop the first boy from jumping in to tell a joke and rescue his friend! Finally, the chunky boy told a joke and I gave him candy. Liz and I thought perhaps we should've made him do jumping jacks or push ups to earn the treat.
There were LOTS of adults who carried their own bags and expected candy, one person who asked for candy for 'a sick kid at home' and get this: one boy took his candy without saying thanks and then said, "Can I have one for my grandma?" It took me by surprise! His GRANDMA? That was a new one! I said, "Your grandma?" and he said, "Yes." Heck, I gave him another candy bar for even having the guts to ask for extra candy for his grandma with a straight face.
When all the candy was gone, we ate Mexican food and enjoyed good company. It almost seemed too easy! Well, for me at least. Hubby got called out since the employee who is actually on call tonight was taking his little guy trick-or-treating. I hated to see him go, but I'm thankful for business and I know how hard it is to be the only parent to take the kids out on Halloween, so I didn't want to have to call our employee in.
OH ,and my 16 year old daughter went to a party dressed as Heidi Klum....who is pregnant! It was a hoot! Her dad didn't think it was so funny but I reminded him that when she dressed up as a witch or a doctor when she was younger did not destine her to become either of those things. I did make her remove her belly when she drove!! (Oh, if only I could've done that when actually pregnant!)
All in all, a lovely and relaxing Halloween evening.
Friday, October 30, 2009
I'm a Frayed Knot
Seriously, people! Why did Nebraska have to do away with that law whereby you could drop off your child, of any age, at a hospital for any reason with no legal repercussion. I've got a 13 year old whom I'd like to put in a box with a sign that reads 'Free to Good Home'. The home doesn't even have to be that good. I've got low standards.
This particular boy has some medical issues that cause him to have stiff legs. With PT he could improve quite a bit, but he's not so interested in working on it. Unfortunately for him, he also wants to wrestle in school. He wrestled last year in 7th grade. Our coach had to tell the other coach that their team couldn't bend his legs hard. Now that he is in 8th grade, that doesn't seem quite fair to tell the other team they can't wrestle him fairly. SO, because I don't want to stand in his way of miraculous wrestling success, I made a deal with him. If he would work on his knee flexibility throughout the year, we would give wrestling serious consideration. (He can do serious damage to his joints if they are just wrenched back). He agreed to this. He worked on his knees a grand total of 4 times.
Yesterday he called me from school to say, "Mom, I think I'm going to go out for wrestling and today is the meeting so I'll have to stay after school for that."
EXCUSE ME??????? I'm telling you that this boy lives in a magical land where he is entitled to everything he REALLY wants, simply becuase he REALLY wants it. Oh, wouldn't that be nice? I told him that he was not going out for wrestling and I'd pick him up at the regular time. He was not happy.
After school when we 'discussed' (that's the nice blogger way of saying I railed at him for 35 hours) it he said that he figured I'd change my mind and besides 'I would get what I want and he would get what he wants.' Oh that was rich...I asked what he meant. He said that he would get to wrestle and I would get good grades! (He actually believed this was sound reasoning).
And yet, I had to question him as to WHY, on God's green earth, could he not get good grades unless he was wrestling? He said that he couldn't wrestle if he had an "F", therefore, he would keep his grades up.
Ridiculous reasoning aside, I pointed out that he had failed to hold up his end of our bargain. He said he just thinks it's hopeless and he won't improve so he doesn't work on it. (Same line of thought that promped him to sit on the couch and watch TV while grounded rather than clean baseboards in family room. There are couches and chairs in there and it would be hard to get to baseboards. So, he didn't even try.) Is your blood pressure rising yet, or is it just me?
There is no rational conversation with him. He only sees his point of view and argues with statements that don't even make sense. WHY do I get drawn in? Because I continue to harbor hope that one day...ONE DAY he is going to dial in and get it.
I know I am ranting here. I see that. I own that. But lately I am just up to my eyeballs in doing what needs to be done for everyone and everything; plus my BFF Sharon gave me till 2pm CST to stew about it and then I have to get out of the pot and let it go. She's a good friend like that. She didn't say I had to get over myself immediately. I really appreciate that.
WELL, now that I've got that off my chest, I'm going to march on with the day. At 2:00 pm CST I will officially LET IT GO and then I will go enjoy my 4th grader's Halloween Party at school. Sure wish I still had some of those Snicker bars to take.
This particular boy has some medical issues that cause him to have stiff legs. With PT he could improve quite a bit, but he's not so interested in working on it. Unfortunately for him, he also wants to wrestle in school. He wrestled last year in 7th grade. Our coach had to tell the other coach that their team couldn't bend his legs hard. Now that he is in 8th grade, that doesn't seem quite fair to tell the other team they can't wrestle him fairly. SO, because I don't want to stand in his way of miraculous wrestling success, I made a deal with him. If he would work on his knee flexibility throughout the year, we would give wrestling serious consideration. (He can do serious damage to his joints if they are just wrenched back). He agreed to this. He worked on his knees a grand total of 4 times.
Yesterday he called me from school to say, "Mom, I think I'm going to go out for wrestling and today is the meeting so I'll have to stay after school for that."
EXCUSE ME??????? I'm telling you that this boy lives in a magical land where he is entitled to everything he REALLY wants, simply becuase he REALLY wants it. Oh, wouldn't that be nice? I told him that he was not going out for wrestling and I'd pick him up at the regular time. He was not happy.
After school when we 'discussed' (that's the nice blogger way of saying I railed at him for 35 hours) it he said that he figured I'd change my mind and besides 'I would get what I want and he would get what he wants.' Oh that was rich...I asked what he meant. He said that he would get to wrestle and I would get good grades! (He actually believed this was sound reasoning).
And yet, I had to question him as to WHY, on God's green earth, could he not get good grades unless he was wrestling? He said that he couldn't wrestle if he had an "F", therefore, he would keep his grades up.
Ridiculous reasoning aside, I pointed out that he had failed to hold up his end of our bargain. He said he just thinks it's hopeless and he won't improve so he doesn't work on it. (Same line of thought that promped him to sit on the couch and watch TV while grounded rather than clean baseboards in family room. There are couches and chairs in there and it would be hard to get to baseboards. So, he didn't even try.) Is your blood pressure rising yet, or is it just me?
There is no rational conversation with him. He only sees his point of view and argues with statements that don't even make sense. WHY do I get drawn in? Because I continue to harbor hope that one day...ONE DAY he is going to dial in and get it.
I know I am ranting here. I see that. I own that. But lately I am just up to my eyeballs in doing what needs to be done for everyone and everything; plus my BFF Sharon gave me till 2pm CST to stew about it and then I have to get out of the pot and let it go. She's a good friend like that. She didn't say I had to get over myself immediately. I really appreciate that.
WELL, now that I've got that off my chest, I'm going to march on with the day. At 2:00 pm CST I will officially LET IT GO and then I will go enjoy my 4th grader's Halloween Party at school. Sure wish I still had some of those Snicker bars to take.
Thursday, October 29, 2009
Drawing it to a Close...
Good grief. I am never going to win Mother of the Year at this rate. My children are surely going to drag me onto the Montel show some day. I feel like I'm at this odd place in life. I have a 21 year old married son....several kids...and a 9 year old son. Where do I fit in? Do I fit in with the parents of 21 year olds? Am I in the "we have married kids' group? or do I fit into the 'I have an elementary schooler' group? I don't know how to dress. I don't want to wear those horrible matronly clothes that just scream "I've given up!" and I shouldn't really wear clothes that are for younger moms. I don't want to wear the same things my daughter-in-law wears. Of course, she looks adorable every minute of ever day...but is she going to feel creepy if we show up at church with similar outifit on?
Well, anyway. Maybe I'll just wear sweatpants every day, stop washing my hair and wear light blue eyeshadow and pastel pink lipstick. Niiiice.
It's obvious now that I really have nothing to say tonight, isnt' it? Rick is still at the hospital with his dad and I have nobody to talk to. It's only YOU!!
Guess I'll just sign off and finish watching "Real Life Housewives of Atlanta". Yes, I am high class.
Well, anyway. Maybe I'll just wear sweatpants every day, stop washing my hair and wear light blue eyeshadow and pastel pink lipstick. Niiiice.
It's obvious now that I really have nothing to say tonight, isnt' it? Rick is still at the hospital with his dad and I have nobody to talk to. It's only YOU!!
Guess I'll just sign off and finish watching "Real Life Housewives of Atlanta". Yes, I am high class.
And the day wears on...
Yeah, yeah...I showered hours ago but time has, again, not allowed time for any activity of my own choosing. Oh, but I'm not giving up. No-sir-ree bobtail! I AM going to blog even if I have to do it in my sleep. Hmm...maybe I'll blog while awake and clean the bathroom in my sleep. THAT would be much better.
I spent the better part of today sitting in the hospital with my dad-in-law. He's having some TIAs and is pretty frustrated by it all. The vision in his right eye comes and goes and boy does that tick him off! I thought it could totally work in my favor if he could only see half of me, I'd look thinner. I am considering buying eye patches for everyone I encounter. What? It is too a good idea!
I am currently stealing time from making dinner. Meatloaf is on my menu for tonight and I just don't want to make it. I HATE putting my hands in all that nasty raw meat and eggs...gak! I am not a fan of hamburger in general so.... I wish the dinner fairy would magically appear and *poof* a fabu dinner on the table! I get so tired of cooking that I felt like I was on a fancy date when my hubby bought me lunch at the hospital cafeteria today. What a sad state of affairs.
But cook I must. Perhaps I'll cheese out and make tater tot casserole. The kids like it. I'll eat a salad...or maybe 30 more of those snack-sized Snickers I bought to hand out on Halloween.
I spent the better part of today sitting in the hospital with my dad-in-law. He's having some TIAs and is pretty frustrated by it all. The vision in his right eye comes and goes and boy does that tick him off! I thought it could totally work in my favor if he could only see half of me, I'd look thinner. I am considering buying eye patches for everyone I encounter. What? It is too a good idea!
I am currently stealing time from making dinner. Meatloaf is on my menu for tonight and I just don't want to make it. I HATE putting my hands in all that nasty raw meat and eggs...gak! I am not a fan of hamburger in general so.... I wish the dinner fairy would magically appear and *poof* a fabu dinner on the table! I get so tired of cooking that I felt like I was on a fancy date when my hubby bought me lunch at the hospital cafeteria today. What a sad state of affairs.
But cook I must. Perhaps I'll cheese out and make tater tot casserole. The kids like it. I'll eat a salad...or maybe 30 more of those snack-sized Snickers I bought to hand out on Halloween.
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