The Reluctant HGTV Design Superstar!

It looks like I'm going to get my own show on HGTV!  Isn't that exciting!?  If you think David Bromstad was excited when he was told he would be the host of Color Splash, you ain't seen nothing yet.

Of course, my show is going to be a little different than most of the offerings on HGTV.  All of the folks who were chosen to host their own shows love what they do.  They are passionate about design and color and staging a home so it will sell more quickly.  These celebs have actual training in their chosen field and were leaders in their classes.

Me, not so much.  I'm not exactly passionate about painting.  Honestly, I don't like to paint at all!  I do like color and think if I had a warehouse of items to choose from, could surely stage a home to sell quickly.  The fact that I don't really enjoy painting or knocking down walls is really going to be the draw of my new television show.  The working title so far is 'The Reluctant Remodeler'.  It describes me perfectly.

I see it working something like this:  Viewers who need to sell their homes quickly will write in and describe their plight.  I will choose a victim, I mean lucky recipient, of my handyman skills and then I will go to their home and help them remodel it so it will sell quickly....hopefully.  These are going to have to be desperate  folks, for sure.

Since I don't really enjoy home improvement projects, I will try to find the most short cuts possible.  You know, you can save a lot of time painting over a wallpaper border rather than removing it and then painting.  As long as you sell the house quickly, this should never be a problem.  Well, it won't be your problem, at least. 

Details aren't so much my strong suit either.  I am really more concerned with finishing.  Sure, quality is important, but if you don't have a lot of patience, time is really of the essence.  Maybe removing all the cabinet doors and hardware before carefully sanding and painting is the best way.  However, simply taping over the handles and draping drop cloths on the countertops and floors before you use an airless sprayer to coat the entire kitchen is surely the quickest.  You can complete an entire kitchen in less than an hour!

Need to paint a room a more neutral color to make it more appealing to prospective buyers? Again, I recommend the airless sprayer. It's a most magical machine.  If the room isn't very big  you can employ the 360 method.  Stand in the center of the room and slowly turn in a circle to coat the entire room.  Do remember to wear a mask for this trick!

As you can see, I'll be able to accomplish quite a bit of remodeling each episode, and at a low cost to boot. I imagine I'll have quite a long and satisfying career as the Reluctant Remodeler.  Do be sure to tune in...you won't be sorry!

(disclaimer: this blog entry is fiction.  While parts are true; ie: I hate to paint, I would never paint a small room with an airless sprayer.  I always use spraypaint in a can.  always.)