NUDGE!!

A few Sundays ago in church, our pastor said that the most common thing he sees is the 'elbow nudge'.  You know, when you hear something and you nudge your husband or wife or child sitting beside you because THEY really need to pay attention to what was just said?  Of course, in reality, it was probably us who really needed to be listening instead of applying nuggets of truth to others.  At least that's how it is for me.

Today I was listening to one of my favorite songs and singing REALLY loudly in the car.  I sing loudly because what I lack in talent I make up in volume.  I was thinking of my friend who is going through a particularly nasty divorce from a particularly nasty man.  She is a beautiful and kind person who loves and accepts people and this song I was singing along with was making me think of her and how it could lift her spirits and help her to remember that no matter what has happened, we are loved by God. 

Then as I sang one part of the song that I've sung a thousand and ten times before, it happened.  NUDGE!  "Apply those words to YOURSELF".

Oh.  ok.  So I did.  Then the tears started.  I needed to apply those words to myself.  I have been feeling a bit off-kilter lately.  There have been big changes in our world this year.  Our oldest child got married.  The next one is finishing up high school in December and will move into an apartment early next year.  We bought a second business a year and a half ago.  Maybe those don't seem daunting to anyone else, but they FEEL so to me.

When I was younger mom I felt so confident in my ability and decisions.  I suppose that was because the kids were young and their problems were more controllable, maybe?  They weren't quite to life-altering.  Or at least I didn't think they were.  Now with the older kids I don't know anything!  I don't know how to advise them and when I do, I get all muddled up in "should I say how I'd do it or try to think of how it would be best for them to do it?".  I feel like I don't do any of it well. 

I have a new daughter-in-law.  I don't know how to be a mother-in-law.  I love her.  No doubt about that.  But I don't know her very well.  After all, my son dated her, I didn't.  I'm not exactly sure how to go about getting to know her or what she expects from our relationship.  I was a very young bride and I lived in the town where my husband grew up where none of my family lived.  I wonder if she feels the way I did?  I have a great relationship with my son but I have pulled back so I don't step on toes.  But...I still step on toes it seems.

My oldest daughter is leaving the nest soon.  I am immensely proud of her and am fully behind her stretching her wings but I hate to see her go.  She was my last baby.  Everyone who came after her was not born to me. She's just a special girl and I like having her around.  I know!  Selfish.  I can admit that.

Lately, I've been questioning all my choices and decisions.  Should we have adopted four children?  Did we short-change our first two?  Did they get pushed to the side because the others required SO much more of...me?  Do they regret it?  Will they never want to have a big family because they hated living in one?   Was I somehow being self-centered thinking I could save the world?  Could my kids have gone to parents who had more time than I do?  Could they have gotten parents who could have afforded more of the finer things in life?  Did I short-change them too?

With all of my uncertainty swirling around in my heart I focused on the words to the Casting Crowns song:

'I know You've washed me white, turned my darkness into light

I need Your peace to get me through, to get me through this night

I can't live by what I feel, but by the truth Your word reveals

I'm not holding on to You, but You're holding on to me'

I'm not holding on to Him....He's holding on to ME.  What security to know that when I am feeling so adrift, I'm not really adrift because He is holding on to me.  Who knows if the decisions I've made have been the right ones.  I made the best decisions I could at the time.  Sure, I feel uncertain and like a big fat failure a lot, but I can't live by what I feel.  I have to live by the truth. 

And the truth is, I am loved.  I need to live as if I am loved.  My mistakes; I am trying to learn from them.  My sins; they are cast as far as the East is from the West.  I am shaped by them but not defined by them.  I am forgiven and I am loved. 

I needed that nudge today.

Blingy Blackberry Curve 8330 cell phone covers!!

I'm like a crow.  If there is something shiney, I want it.  To that end, I have bought several of these FAB blingy cell phone covers.  Due to my extreme generocity, I am willing to part with them so that you, too, might broadcast just how fab you really are by chatting on a blinged out phone!

These covers are for the Blackberry Curve 8330 but if you want, I can get other cell models.  The totally blingy ones are $25 +shipping to you and the silicone/bling ones are $15 +shipping to you!

Send me a comment or email me at jeel@neb.rr.com if you want to show off your blingy fabulocity ASAP!

Jeel

The Reluctant HGTV Design Superstar!

It looks like I'm going to get my own show on HGTV!  Isn't that exciting!?  If you think David Bromstad was excited when he was told he would be the host of Color Splash, you ain't seen nothing yet.

Of course, my show is going to be a little different than most of the offerings on HGTV.  All of the folks who were chosen to host their own shows love what they do.  They are passionate about design and color and staging a home so it will sell more quickly.  These celebs have actual training in their chosen field and were leaders in their classes.

Me, not so much.  I'm not exactly passionate about painting.  Honestly, I don't like to paint at all!  I do like color and think if I had a warehouse of items to choose from, could surely stage a home to sell quickly.  The fact that I don't really enjoy painting or knocking down walls is really going to be the draw of my new television show.  The working title so far is 'The Reluctant Remodeler'.  It describes me perfectly.

I see it working something like this:  Viewers who need to sell their homes quickly will write in and describe their plight.  I will choose a victim, I mean lucky recipient, of my handyman skills and then I will go to their home and help them remodel it so it will sell quickly....hopefully.  These are going to have to be desperate  folks, for sure.

Since I don't really enjoy home improvement projects, I will try to find the most short cuts possible.  You know, you can save a lot of time painting over a wallpaper border rather than removing it and then painting.  As long as you sell the house quickly, this should never be a problem.  Well, it won't be your problem, at least. 

Details aren't so much my strong suit either.  I am really more concerned with finishing.  Sure, quality is important, but if you don't have a lot of patience, time is really of the essence.  Maybe removing all the cabinet doors and hardware before carefully sanding and painting is the best way.  However, simply taping over the handles and draping drop cloths on the countertops and floors before you use an airless sprayer to coat the entire kitchen is surely the quickest.  You can complete an entire kitchen in less than an hour!

Need to paint a room a more neutral color to make it more appealing to prospective buyers? Again, I recommend the airless sprayer. It's a most magical machine.  If the room isn't very big  you can employ the 360 method.  Stand in the center of the room and slowly turn in a circle to coat the entire room.  Do remember to wear a mask for this trick!

As you can see, I'll be able to accomplish quite a bit of remodeling each episode, and at a low cost to boot. I imagine I'll have quite a long and satisfying career as the Reluctant Remodeler.  Do be sure to tune in...you won't be sorry!

(disclaimer: this blog entry is fiction.  While parts are true; ie: I hate to paint, I would never paint a small room with an airless sprayer.  I always use spraypaint in a can.  always.)

Shredding the Mountain

No, I'm not snowboarding, I'm actually shredding the mountain of business paperwork that I've been saving. 

We started scanning in our documents this year but I've been too afraid to actually shred them just in case there was something I still needed!  Sure, maybe I have trust issues, so what?  The person I don't trust is ME.  I'm not at all confident that I've scanned in everything I will need proof of someday if I ever get audited by the IRS. Sure, I set up a system whereby I only put scanned documents into the box labled 'To Be Scanned'.  Sure, I've double and triple checked to see if various documents from various months are really on my computer.  But I am still scared to shred.

Since we are putting our house on the market soon, I must get my office in order.  Nobody is going to see the excellence of my bonus space if it is overtaken by unscanned documents, now are they?  And so today, knees knocking and heart palpitating, I sat down and started shredding.  I didn't even look at the papers; I just fed them into the shredder.

So far I have four full bags and I'm not even half through the box.  I'm taking a break now because I've overheated the shredder...for the second time.

Now that I'm feeling so bold, I might even get ride of some of those purses I've been hanging on to 'just in case' I might need it again.  On second thought, nah.

Bravo for Housewives!

It started out so innocently.  I watched a few episodes of The Real Life Housewives of Orange County because I just couldn't look away once I'd glimpsed it.  After a few episodes, I was hooked.  I liked all the Housewives, even if I thought their drama was silly and their lives were over the top.  As the seasons  progressed and the cast evolved, I just kept on watching. 

You know how it goes, once you start one thing, you find yourself branching out into other facets of the same behavior.  Like when you over eat at a holiday party and then pretty soon you are sitting on the couch every night with a bowl of ice cream.  Well, maybe it's not exactly like that.  Anyway, I watched the Housewives of New York ( LOVE Jill Zarin and Bethenny Frankel!  I'm totally sure they'd want to be my friend if only they could just meet me!).  To me, the NYC Housewives seem more down to earth and less materialistic.  I suppose they are still wealthy and have whatever they decide they want, but it just didn't seem to have the same sense of entitlement that the OC Housewives have. 

From NYC I evolved to New Jersey but didn't have as much time to watch.  I didn't feel as drawn in by them, though I really love Caroline Manzo and her great mix of fun and 'mess with me and I"ll rip your heart out'.  I want to be her friend too.

When the Atlanta Housewives appeared I had to watch.  How could I not?!  With all the wig snatching and being tardy for the party, this group of housewives was CRAZY!  Nene (my personal fave) is bigger than life and her one liners are killer...boo!

Which leads me to (drum roll please) the season premiere of The Real Life Housewives of Orange County!  I cannot wait!  My kids will be in bed and I can settle down and enjoy my guilty pleasure. 

Bravo!! Bring on the Housewives!

What Are YOU? A BABY?

Today while listening to my Sirius Satellite Radio (oh, how I l-o-v-e love it!) I happened to hear this commedian, Ross Bennett.  He was talking about his father who was in the Marines and I have a friend who's son just finished the crucible and will now be an official Marine (Ooh Rah!) and this really made me laugh.  I hope it makes you laugh too. 

The only difference in this and the one I heard was the last line he said on the radio was, "What are you, a baby?"  You'll get it when you hear it.
The part about his dad is at the end but the rest is pretty funny as well.

enjoy!
Jill

Movin', Movin', Movin'....Keep that Van a Movin'

This blog goes out to the mom in the silver mini-van in front of me while dropping off kids at the middle school today.  Hello!!  You do not live on the Earth alone!  There are others here as well!

My 7th grade trumpeteer had to be at an early-morning practice, so I scooted to the middle school early to drop her off.  Since she wears a prosthetic leg and/or uses arm crutches, I sometimes drop her off in the 'handicapped lane' where there is less traffic and she has more time to exit the vehicle, get her trumpet out of the back of the car, etc.  Today, since it was just for this practice and traffic was light, I drove through the normal drop-off lane.  Or at least I attempted to.  I pulled up behind Mrs. Silver Minivan who was parked smack dab in front of the door. 

I wrongly assumed she was stopped to allow her band-geek to exit her van, enter the building and then drive AWAY like every other parent in the known universe does.  But no.  Silly me.  She was apparently claiming that spot right in front of the doors as her homestead.  I had to let Sofie out farther from the door than I would've liked because of this pioneer woman in her silver minivan.  Normally, our 8th grader,Christian, would carry Sofie's trumpet into the school for her when she has her arm crutches but since we were dropping her off early and solo, she was on her own to wrangle her bookbag, extra large band folder that does not fit in any normal sized book bag and the trumpet in it's case that weights roughly the same as she does, while using her crutches for an extra 400 feet.

While Sofie is trying to get out of the car and not drop her stuff, the child in the silver minivan is still sitting in the passenger seat.  I just can't understand it.  If you are going to allow your kid to sit in the car for 10 extra minutes in the drop off lane, DON'T PARK DIRECTLY IN FRONT OF THE DOORS!  At the very least she could've pulled way up so others could drop off closer to the door.  If I'd had on anything better than a bright orange T-shirt and hot pink jamie pants with flaminco dancers on them, I would've gotten out and given that woman a piece of my mind! 

Just as Sofie was almost to the door, the silver minivan girl got out of her van, walked quickly to the door, entered and let the door shut in Sofie's face.  Like mother, like daughter.  For some unknown reason, Mrs. Silver Minivan continued to sit there in her parking spot.  I and several other cars and to drive out of line around her.  Hello!  Yooo Hoo!  Anybody home????

It just makes me absolutely crazy!  So many people go through life not giving a hoot how their actions are affecting anyone else.  Worse yet, these people reproduce!!  There should be a law.  Honestly, don't you think?  After all the paperwork and background checks I had to endure to adopt children and these selfish crackpots willy nilly reproduce like rabbits.  I don't get it.

Maybe since parents are teaching this at home, the school system should design a class entitled "Being Aware of How You Affect Others".  We might have to divert some funds from some other area, like say maybe football? (GASP!)  But wouldn't it be worth it?  I think so.

So, Mrs. Silver Minivan, the next time I get behind you in the drive up lane and you are parked and reading Moby Dick or whatever it is you do there, I am not going to hesitate to get out of my vehicle and knock on your window and tell you to MOVE IT!

I'd better start wearing shoes when I drive the kids to school, just in case.

Unanswered Prayers

My day started earlier than usual as the hubby had to get off to Omaha for continuing education for his Master Pumper license.  I got him packed to spend the night there and out the door while making breakfast and herding kids around.  Chase and I left the house early to attend the Muffins with Moms at his elementary school library. I had a little lemon poppyseed muffin and he chose a chocolate chip  muffin that was technically larger than his head.  He ate almost all of it!  This after a bowl of oatmeal at home.  Hmm..and I thought Sofie was our kid with the hollow leg.  har har.
After enjoying muffins on short chairs with my favorite fourth grader, I headed over to my in-law's house.  My MIL (Karen) had to work this morning so I was going to stay with my FIL (Ed).  Since his stroke last week, he still shouldn't be left alone.  His vision isn't quite back to normal in his right eye and his right side of the body is still weak/numb.

As soon as I arrived, he was ready to GO!  This is a man who goes out for coffee EVERY morning with his friends.  We got in the car and headed for coffee.  He was greeted by everyone in the place and it lifted his spirits to be out and about.  He and I sat and visited for about an hour.  He and I typically have a good time joshing eachother and he loves to take the boys to do whatever he is doing.  He is the 'handy' type of guy.  He can fix anything...ANYthing.  He used to let our oldest son take apart microwaves and telephones and anything else he could get his hands on, just to see how it was put together.  He lets the boys mow and feed the fish in his pond and they go out for ice cream and whoppers.

After we'd enjoyed coffee and chatting we headed back to the house where he napped in his recliner in the sun porch until my dad came over for a visit.  They sat out on the sun porch and I sat inside on the couch in the silent house where there was no laundry, cleaning, bookwork, computer or tasks that need to be completed.  It was wonderful!  I read through all my magazines and catalogs and even perused a couple of Karen's cookbooks. 

As a high school senior, McKenzie, has open lunch so she came and had a bite to eat and say 'hi' to Grandpa.  A litttle after noon, Karen returned and I was off to the grocery store and back to the busy reality of life.

I am so thankful that I don't work outside the home.  I'm blessed that I have the time to go over and be with Ed.  For all the times I prayed to live somewhere, anywhere, other than Nebraska, I can't imagine not being here now.  Thank God for unanswered prayers.

If I were a millionaire

The morning drive to school has always provided a little pocket of time to chat where I have learned the most interesting things.  Take for instance the day Sofie confided that when she grew up she wanted to have an RV with a disco ball.  Ok, that is slightly disturbing, but still.  I've learned some good stuff over the years.

Today it was Sofie who posed the question.  She asked me where I would live if I were a millionaire.  This used to be a no-brainer for me.  I could think of a hundred places I'd love to live!  South Carolina, Oregon, Arizona, East Texas, Italy, Bulgaria....I love adventure and new anything so I'd pick someplace interesting and head out.  But today I couldn't say any of those places.  In the oddest twist of fate, I had to admit I would live here in Columbus.  After 20+ years of complaining and whining and harping about how I did NOT want to live here, now I don't want to leave.   I can hardly believe it myself.

I don't want to live anywhere else now because my grown kids live here.  In the next few years they will be starting a family and I don't want to be 4,000 miles away from my grandbabies!  I didn't have the opportunity to grow up around my grandparents and I don't want that for my grandkids.  (Not sure how my kids feel about this...perhaps I should ask!  I might not be the best role model but I have promised NEVER to buy the loud and annoying toys.)  Listen to me; talking about grandkids I don't even have!  But, you see what I'm saying, right?

I did add that if I were a millionaire, I'd have a vacation home somewhere fabulous where we could all go and relax and make wonderful memories.  Surely, a millionaire could afford that, right?  I'm not exactly positive since numbers are really not my thing.  I love words.  Numbers....not so much.  Perhaps if I were just a millionaire, we'd only be able to vacation in Kansas City.  I don't know.  I just know that I'd like to have some options for escape now and then.  And I'd take those grandbabies with me for all sorts of fun adventures!

I Find Myself Amusing

I realize it's a sad state of affairs when you laugh at your own jokes, but honestly, sometimes I read my old columns and I laugh.  I forget so much stuff that I'm thrilled I have stacks of newspapers containing my old columns and even some on my website http://www.jilljackstate.com/ .  I love being able to go back and read what I wrote about the kids when they were smaller and to remember what they were like in those days.  What fun!

Some of you might wonder why I would choose to blog on this site if I already have such a personalized webpage.  The answer is so simple: I don't like how difficult the "EASY site builder" is to use and I don't know how to FTP anything other than my financial information to our accountant (and they gave me step by step instructions that I have to have handy each time I do it).  I'd prefer to have all my 'stuff' more integrated but I don't know how to do it and trying to reasearch how to accomplish such a feat seems, well, too hard.

Let's be honest, people.  I am the person who throws away paint rollers rather than washing them out because it's too much of a hassle.  I'm all about easy-peasy.

I guess I'll keep blogging since that seems much easier.  I love the feedback and welcome your comments and thoughts!!  Feel free to pass my blog along to your friends and heck, even your enemies.  Who knows, maybe some IT person will accidentally read it and have some easy kindergarten-level advice for how to merge my 'junk'. 

Until then, I'm going to go read some of my old columns and amuse myself.

I'm Walking, Yes Indeed and I"m...Adjusting My Attitude?

Oh, I have got to go for a walk.  Well, perhaps just a shuffle will be all I can manage after the amazingly mammoth meal I just consumed.  Our church just celebrated our 10 year anniversary at our annual 'Joyfest' which is basically a Thanksgiving type deal.  It's always a fun time with great food and fun entertainment but man, oh, man, oh man have I ever eaten toooo much!

But, what's new, right?  Ever since the wedding, when I no longer had to be the MOG (Mother of the Groom) I have been grazing along like a bovine.  I'm busy enough during the day that I don't eat much but at the end of the day, when the kids are in bed and I can finally sit down, I eat.  I like to justify this little practice by telling myself that I'm doing something I like to do...something for ME finally in the day.  Yes, isnt' that so nice?  I'm rewarding all my hard work during the day with a hiney that needs it's own zip code.  What kind of twisted thinking is that???

Heck, just add it to the unending list of my twisted thinking.  I spent the last week being a smidge vile.  I was feeling vastly unappreciated for the myriad of things I do on a daily basis.  I had been sick for a couple of weeks and despite the fact that I took care of everyone else while they were sick and made sure that they had Gatorade and soup and fluffed up pillows, nobody did any of that for me.  I still had to drag myself out of bed to take everyone where they needed to be and to make meals (that nobody appreciates!).  (Can you hear the violins playing???)  So, I mentally crossed my arms and stomped my feet and added up all the times I've done some thankless task that everyone expects and nobody notices and pouted for a week.  A WHOLE WEEK!  Do you really think I'd let one of my kids POUT for a week?  Short answer: no.  But in my infintite twisted thinking, I justified my hurt feelings and nursed my pitiful attitude for a whole week.  Since even I can't stand myself acting like that for too long, I had to just get it off my chest and then let it go! 

Cut to this morning's sermon that was entitled "It Was Time for an Attitude Adjustment".  I turned to my friend Liz with a look of incredulity and said, "Seriously!"  She snickered and suggest that perhaps I shouldn't have created a Facebook page for our pastor. Now he can tailor the sermons to my bad behavior!

As it turned out, I did need an attitude adjustment.  I needed to be reminded that, as a Christian, I am an example of Christ to others.  I'm pretty sure nobody was thinking, "Wow!  I sure would like to be more like Jill Tate!" this past week.  I didn't even want to!

So, I'm adjusting my attitude.  And I'm going for a walk.  And tomorrow I am going to make it a point to tell others in my life that I appreciate them for all that they do for me.